


Don't Call Me That

by pasteltakashi



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Bisexual Jimmy Kent, Confessions, Getting Together, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25490665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasteltakashi/pseuds/pasteltakashi
Summary: Jimmy was very specific about things, how he expressed himself, how he was perceived and most importantly how he was referred to.Alternatively, Jimmy hates being called anything but 'Jimmy'.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Jimmy Kent
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Watch me write a pathetic summary then never allude to it... 
> 
> Not beta read btw

Jimmy couldn’t say it out loud, he couldn’t express it in front of anyone, but he knew one hundred percent that he was in love with Thomas. Not a soul in the world could know, except Thomas of course. But it wasn’t easily admitted though, especially after the performance he made all that time ago. He wanted express his feelings to Thomas though, he wanted to tell him that his heart yearned for him. Jimmy struggled to come up with a way for him to tell him directly, to speak to him about his feelings. A direct approach would be an easy one, it got everything out there and then but Jimmy wasn’t certain about his ability to do something so bold. However, he did feel that he was capable of doing something a little more subtle. Jimmy could express is love but in a soft way, a way that might not be expected of him.

The simplest way for him to put his feeling across was to write it down. Jimmy scrawled his affections on to paper, drafting it a few times as he didn’t want to hand over a love letter that was incoherent and disjointed. He wanted to make how he felt clear, and it did seem as if he could manage it in one sitting. Because of that Jimmy kept his most recent draft on him, tucking it way so he could look over it when he had ten second and mull over a better way to phrase something or cut out something that sounds unnecessary. Jimmy wanted him to receive a perfect letter that demonstrated exactly how much he loved him. He did his best to be covert when reading over his letter, but it didn’t always work out.

Jimmy was close to his final draft, he felt that when he looked over the letter and saw few flaws. It was a proud moment for him, he’d finally manage to confess his feelings. He was re-reading the final paragraph in the privacy of the boot room when Alfred, the tall twat, came thumping into the room. Instinctively Jimmy jumped and let out a hissed swear, giving Alfred a harsh look, trying to make it evident that he wasn’t wanted here.

“Whatcha got there?” Alfred asked, nodding at the letter in Jimmy’s hand.

Jimmy shoved it into his pocket quickly, this was none’s business but his. Not to mention that Alfred was the last person he’d want to know about his feelings, he was more than aware of how the other felt on such matters.

“It’s a letter from a lass… None of your business” Jimmy told him sharply, “now get out of the way you big lump”

He pushed past Alfred, retreating from the boot room. It felt like a close call, he became paranoid about the letter. Jimmy felt he needed to put it away safe in his room, keep it away from anyone. At least he had the relief of knowing he’d have it done tonight, he wouldn’t have to worry about prying eyes at all. He headed up to his room quickly, he didn’t have a lot of time to waste after all. The letter was placed until his pillow, a good hiding place when in a pinch. There was a small wave of release when he left it in his room, out of sight. However, that relief was swept away when he passed the kitchen and heard his name mentioned. He stopped and looked in, making his presence now known. Alas that may not have been for better as the moment he did he got fussed.

“Jimmy, is it true?” Ivy asked, disappointment written across her features, “you’ve got a love letter from a lass”

Jimmy looked to Alfred who purposely looked away at that moment, he’d obviously been telling tales. It irritated him no end, the letters he was receiving or not receiving had nothing to do them and he’d prefer that they keep their noses out of his business right now.

“I didn’t get a _love letter_ ; it was just a letter. And it doesn’t matter, does it?” Jimmy answered.

Ivy frowned and went on with her cooking in a huff, it mattered to her. Jimmy refrained from rolling his eyes at her, she could be such a pain at times, he honestly didn’t know why he bothered with her sometimes. He caught Daisy glancing at him, it made him wonder just what Alfred had been telling them. Knowing him he’d probably exaggerated it all, making a big fuss over nothing.

After the brief run in with those three, Jimmy did his best not to replicate it. He avoided standing about in the kitchen as much as he could, meaning he was cutting it close each time he had to collect the food for upstairs. Despite his efforts, every time he was in the kitchen Ivy would look at him with big sad eyes. She was taking what she thought was going on to heart and it made him feel bad in a way, he was aware that she was sweet on him and this was probably making her feel as if her chances were lessening. Jimmy hesitated to think what kind of mood she’d get into if she knew the truth of it all, that he wasn’t really interested in her at all and that he was in fact interested in a man. Although, as it crossed his mind, he wasn’t sure that she’d understand it too much, she was a bit simple in that aspect.

It was a god send when he was able to escape to his room in the evening, he had to finish this letter tonight or he’d never know peace. Jimmy retrieved his letter from beneath his pillow and got straight onto writing the final letter. Every word was carefully considered, no sentence was a throw-away, every since aspect had to have meaning to it. He wrote with great care, making sure his hand writing looked immaculate. It felt like the fate of his life rested within how well he wrote this love letter, it was a strange sensation. Jimmy wasn’t going to except anything but perfection tonight.

He'd written until he felt tired and struggled to focus totally on his letter. Knowing going on at this point would spoil it, Jimmy stopped and signed his name. _Faithfully yours, Jimmy_. A lazy smile touched his lips, he was proud of his effort. With the utmost care he folded the letter in half and wrote Thomas’ name on to the top face of the paper. It was ready meaning that he had no reason to wait any longer. He reckoned that everyone would be in their rooms at very least right now meaning he could slip the letter until Thomas’ door and be done with it for now.

Jimmy crept into the empty hall and tip toed over to Thomas’ room. Taking a deep breath to level himself, he bent down to slip the letter underneath the door. For just a moment he stood outside the room, only going back when he heard foot steps on the other side, it wasn’t his intention to be caught so soon by him. Jimmy rushed back to the refuge of his room, feeling a massive weight come off his shoulders. Alas, he only enjoyed that weightless feeling for a few seconds as it was soon replaced by the crushing weight of his actions and the anxiety that came with them. It made him a little dizzy, the sudden realisation that what he had just done had quite heavy bearings for him. A part of him fixated on the fact that the feelings he professed were illegal not to mention grossly immoral by most people’s standards. Another part of him couldn’t give up the idea that he could quite well be rejected by Thomas, just because he loved him before doesn’t mean he still loved him now. So many thoughts spun through his mind now and he couldn’t settle because of them. Jimmy ended up laying in his bed, going over every concern he had now in painstaking detail. It spoiled his sleep a little but not enough that it was of any detriment to him.

The following morning, he woke up relatively calm, as if last night’s stress had never existed. Jimmy remained in his tranquil state for long enough, just going on like he hadn’t tossed and turn the night before worrying. The blissful ignorance he was experiencing came to an end about mid-morning, he wasn’t overly busy so he hung around the servant’s hall and as he stood about idly Thomas approached him. He came from the back, placing a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder catching him off guard and then subsequently caused the weight of the world to fall back on to his shoulders again. Jimmy was rather rigid when turned to look at Thomas, looking like a scared rabbit as he did so.

“Jimmy, may I have a word?” Thomas requested, his voice having an edge to it.

It was very obvious that there was a lot going on beneath his controlled expression and largely composed tone. Jimmy nodded, feeling that the words weren’t going to appear any time soon. They went aside, Thomas taking him to the boot room after checking it was empty first. The door was closed and with in seconds last night’s letter had been whipped out and Thomas’ expression had shifted. He looked conflicted, as if he couldn’t choose between being angry or being hurt. And before Jimmy could get a single word of explanation out Thomas went and voiced everything that he was feeling at that moment.

“I’d love to know what the bloody hell you think you’re doing” he hissed, “Slipping a love letter under my door after making yourself so clear that you could only be my friend? What do you want from me, Jimmy?”

Jimmy narrowed his eyes as he looked away, he was thinking very carefully about his response. What he said now have to be as considered as his letter was. Although, that didn’t seem to work out as Jimmy came out with the weakest response.

“Wasn’t my letter clear?” he asked, “I said just how I feel in it”

Thomas gave him a hard look, as if he had expected Jimmy to be lying to him. Once he seemed satisfied with his sussing out, Thomas looked at the letter again. He skimmed over it, feeling he didn’t need to read it in detail again since he’d been re-reading it all morning; he could probably recite off by heart at this point. His eyes trailed back to Jimmy before then returning to the letter. Finally, he paused and closed his eyes for a moment, Thomas took a deep breath.

“I just don’t believe it…” Thomas admitted.

He’d gotten love letters before, although occasionally the love part of the letter was more up to interpretation, but this was different. All the feelings that were described, every moment that was recalled and painted in a different manner, it all screamed genuine love. And that scared him. Thomas was petrified by his intense feelings after having had dispelled himself from feeling too much for him, from feeling utterly enamoured with him. Knowing that Jimmy felt like this made everything different, it made him feel like he wasn’t in the real world anymore. He’d yearned and pined for so long that now that he had what he’d always wanted he didn’t know what to do.

“I was so sure you’d never… feel anything for me” he explained, “I made myself so grateful for our friendship that I don’t know now how to feel about this. I don’t know what to do with myself”

Jimmy smiled at him; his honesty was endearing. Not to mention a part of him enjoyed the fact that he could cast such potent feelings within him, it made everything feel a bit more passionate. That didn’t detract from the fact that Thomas was obviously having trouble with this all.

“I’ll give you time then, Thomas” Jimmy said trying to come across as reassuring, “You can think about how you feel and what you want to do with what you know now, there won’t be any sort of rush”

A quiet fell after Jimmy gave his reassurance. Thomas seemed to be thinking over his offer, deciding if he truly needed the time or not, eventually concluding that it might help him if he did. That thought was about to be shared when the door opened, revealing Mr. Bates when a pair of shoes in hand.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked despite appeared unbothered whether or not he was really interrupting.

Jimmy shook his head, “Nah, Mr. Barrow and I were done talking”

He stepped forward to go past Bates, glancing back at Thomas before he left, nodding to him. Thomas took a breath before folding his letter up again and putting it away. Bates looked him over, seemingly trying to piece together what he’d walked in on. Although, he didn’t care enough to put too much thought into it, not bothering the moment he met a gap in the idea. Avoiding looking the other man’s away, Thomas slinked out of the boot room. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to focus today now that he had this all knocking about in his head. It wasn’t unusual for Jimmy to occupy his thoughts, after all he did seem to live rent free in his head, but now the thoughts of him were all consuming. He didn’t so much as have daydreams about him but more so vivid performances the erased everything else in his mind for that as long as it lasted.

Thomas was caught in one of his performances at dinner, standing at the edge of the room trying to focus his eyes on something to make it seem like he wasn’t timing out totally. He indulged himself in a play of them confessing their undying love for one another and then finally engaging in a steamy moment, having no regard for everything else, only caring for one another. It was especially gratifying at the moment as he felt it could be real, it was improbable since it was stupidly risky thing to do, but it could happen for real. Thomas felt on edge suddenly, as if his daydream had brought a revelation. All he wanted could be real, he just had to accept the invitation he’d been given to have it.

The realisation brought him back to reality, he glanced around to room. He skimmed over the other servants; Carson, Alfred, Jimmy… Thomas caught the footman’s gaze by sheer chance. Their expression couldn’t change at it might draw some attention, but they need not do so, everything was communicated through their eyes alone. Dinner couldn’t end quick enough now.

Clearing the table after dinner, Thomas made an effort to be near Jimmy as they collected the plates and cutlery. He waited until Alfred and Carson were just far enough away, about a half table away to be exact, before whispering to him.

“Jimmy, after this I need to talk to you” he whispered quietly, “It’s quite important”

A small smile swept Jimmy’s features, having an inkling as to what he intended to talk to him about.

“I see, let be quick about this then” Jimmy replied, now very eager to be downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would have been out quicker if I had more brain cells...  
> Also sorry for any mistakes, I can't read

In the first instance of freedom, Thomas dragged Jimmy away to the yard. Their conversation had to be private, not a soul could overhear them. Stood in the cool yard together, Jimmy looked up at Thomas with great expectancy, anticipation glimmering in his blue hues. There was silence between them for a moment longer, Thomas looked as if he was figuring out exactly how to say what he felt. It dragged on for a tad longer, prompting Jimmy to remind Thomas that _he_ was the one who rushed them out here. Thomas huffed at the reminder, making him finally say his piece.

“Look Jimmy, I thought about it and I’ve decided that I accept your feelings” he told Jimmy, his tone very cool and controlled. “And I also return them”

He reached over to hold Jimmy’s hands, his heart beating fast in his chest. It was dizzying, the way everything was going his way for once. Thomas would faint if he were a weaker man, he knew that for sure. Squeezing his hands, Jimmy just continued to look up at Thomas, a terribly love-struck expression on his face. He was so happy, glad that he was able to be with the man he cared for so deeply. An eagerness rolled over him but he stemmed it a little with the need to be polite with him.

“Thomas,” he spoke softly “can I kiss you?”

A look of disbelief dawned his features, as if that were a question he needed to ask. The question was quickly answered with an enthusiastic ‘yes’. With that Jimmy moved forward, pressing his lips again Thomas’ in a chaste kiss. It lasted seconds but it felt wonderful, their first _proper_ kiss. Jimmy felt warm and giddy, this must be what real budding love feels like. It was the kind of sensation he could live off of, and in all honesty, he very much intended to do so. He was going to make the most of this, he was going to make the most of Thomas and his affection.

They stayed together in the yard until it felt as if their absence together would get at all suspicious. Jimmy opted to go back in first, make it seem natural in some way. Neither were terribly eager to part now, they both wanted to bask in their newly embraced love but they had to, for preservation reasons. However, as they parted Thomas made a small quip that made Jimmy stop for a second.

“I’ll see you soon, _dear_ ” he smiled.

Jimmy pouted, “Don’t call me that girly name...”

Thomas laughed lightly, “Alright then, _sweetheart_ ”

He received a glare for that but it didn’t bother him too much, it was all in good faith of course. Jimmy went back into the hall and was met with questioning from Alfred when he sat down, getting a dozen questions about what had taken him so long. Most of the questions were wrote off with ‘I was smoking’ but Alfred was sceptical of it. Wildly, he suggested that Jimmy had been out so long because he was meeting someone, tying his suggestion with the supposed love letter from yesterday. Of course, that earned the ginger an eye roll and sigh.

“Aye, Alfred. Some girl trekked all the way over here in the dark to see me” he replied sarcastically.

Unfortunately, as he made his sarcastic remark Ivy passed and seemed to get the wrong end of it as she made a right performance out it. Asking if it was true, that a girl had come up to see him, getting the attention of the others. Jimmy insisted that there was no girl, but Ivy didn’t relent and made a further fuss. She stirred it up enough this time that Carson felt the need to get involved this time.

“What is going on?” he asked gruffly, “what’s this about a girl visiting late?”

Jimmy grumbled, irritated that it was going this far. He wished he’d just damned them all and stayed outside, it would have been so much more bearable if he had done so.

“Alfred is telling stories and getting Ivy in state because of it, Mr. Carson” he told the butler, his annoyance evident.

Carson hummed for a moment before giving Alfred a soft telling off and asking Ivy to compose herself. Jimmy tried not to roll his eyes again, he knew that if he’d been the one telling stories he’d have his head to play with. The double standards around here were atrocious. Feeling that his mood had taken a not so nice turn since entering Jimmy decided that he’d excuse himself and go to bed a bit earlier than normal. He headed up to his room, musing his next action as he leant against his closed door. Since he wasn’t very tired Jimmy thought he might write something, a little note maybe, something sweet to pass on later perhaps. Sitting down to write, Jimmy found that nothing sprang to mind, he couldn’t find his words. In the end he found himself staring at the blank paper, trying desperately trying to come up with some sentiment, even one word at this point. Alas it was fruitless, he couldn’t get his feelings out in anyway, at least not in a worth while way. Yes, Jimmy could probably write something like ‘you look attractive by the way, I think about your cheek bones a lot’ but he didn’t want that. He wanted to write something that would make Thomas smile when he read it, give him the same warmth that he felt earlier. Frustrated, Jimmy resigned himself to just going to bed that evening. Perhaps as he’d think of something as he tried to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, the ability to wax lyrical about Thomas didn’t strike Jimmy before he slept, nor did it strike in the morning. Jimmy relied on the fact that he’d see Thomas today and perhaps maybe then he’d work out a nice note to write for him. Breakfast was highly anticipated as a result, he could muse him over toast, sneaking glances past Anna. Jimmy couldn’t help but laugh at himself, he was like a little girl getting excited over seeing her crush in the playground. In some ways though he wouldn’t wish to be any different, feeling so excited over one person was wonderful, he wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Breakfast was all smiles with Jimmy, he was in a wondrous mood. His contrasting mood got a few glances, a slightly raised brow or two. On the whole however, the others preferred his good attitude over his normal snark and eye rolling, so it wasn’t remarked upon. At least not in a questioning manner, Anna mused his good mood in her normal cheery way. It earned another smile from him and the assurance that he knew today would be good so he was in an excellent mood. For no more than a second, he looked past Anna and set his gaze on Thomas, the apple of his eye. Today will be marvellous because of him and him only.

Bells chimed and the table dispersed, all heading off to start their chores. There were a few glances shot each other’s ways, a secret exchange that would be over looked. It provided a touch of warmth to the two, they could go on with a smile. Individual smiles that would brighten their days just a tiny bit.

Jimmy’s upbeat attitude did lead to suspicion in the kitchen, Ivy insisted that he was so happy because a girl was writing to him. As what was becoming increasingly normal for him, he denied that he’d been receiving letters from a girl. It felt strange knowing that this had been twisted about into something that resembled reality, it was a like an odd mirror image, Jimmy’s role had been swapped and instead of being the lovestruck sender he had been portrayed as the coy recipient. He tried to not to imagine the fuss he’d get into if he’d receive a letter from Thomas. For a second, he let himself consider what it’d be like, trying to come up with the sort of things he’d write, what his handwriting would look like when it was spinning yarns of adoration. Jimmy suppressed an even bigger smile; he couldn’t let anyone know just how smitten he was. It was a pointless endeavour though, Ivy got up in arms again when he made the effort to keep his feelings at bay, claiming he was probably thinking about her. Mrs. Patmore was quick to scold her for making a mountain out of a mole hill and disrupting the kitchen. In the uproar that followed her scolding, another voice entered the fray and was most unhelpful.

“My, my, someone’s feathers have been ruffled”

“Thank you, Thomas, your observation is very astute” Mrs. Patmore glowered.

He smiled his normal nauseating smile, well known for following infuriating remarks. Jimmy turned his head and hide a snicker, wanting to avoid the wrath of an irritated Mrs. Patmore. The little snicker didn’t go totally unnoticed however, Thomas caught it and flashed him a quick grin. Those two were destined to cause trouble together.

“So, what has plunged the kitchen into chaos?” Thomas asked, an inkling that he knew who was the main source of the fuss was.

“Someone has been telling stories about me receiving letters from a girl and meeting her of an evening. It’s a bit out of hand now” Jimmy told him.

“Lucky girl” Thomas commented with an idle smirk.

He nearly started up the drama again, his comment being taken as a signal that he believed the story of the girl. The drama was only dispelled with Mrs. Patmore’s shooing them away and her stern ordering to focus on the food. She was more than tired of this lot causing trouble for each other and disturbing her kitchen. Banished to the servant’s hall to wait now, Jimmy thought he’d take this moment to try and drum up some ideas for his note now that he had his muse right in front of him. Doing his best to remain subtle, he studied Thomas’ features, looking for even a hint of inspiration. He thought perhaps a note detailing the aspects of him that he finds most beautiful could go a long way. Jimmy felt he could manage that, a lyrical listing of his flawless aspects. Tonight was going to be full of affectionate words and lovely gestures, he was determined. A nudge brought him out of his great plans and back into the real world where he was met with a curious look. Thomas was wondering what had Jimmy in such a trance, it was like he was in a totally different world. Alas before he could get the story there was a yell from the kitchen which normally meant luncheon was imminent therefore requiring them to be ready to serve. The story would have to wait until they had another moment to talk.

Unfortunately, luncheon was over and done with the moments they had together were brief and they could hardly say two sentences to each other before having to go off and continue their chores. They couldn’t find the chance to properly talk to one another, an inconvenience they hadn’t totally appreciated until now. All chances were to be valued now it seemed, they had to make the most of them. At least they could always trust to have their evening together, there was no doubt about that. Although, there was always the potential for interruptions but they couldn’t close themselves away from everyone after all.

With the evening now being his only chance, Thomas was eager to get Jimmy to himself in the first moment that come up. He was invited out for a cigarette, an excuse to be used in front of the others. The invite was accepted and they made their exit together, heading to the yard to talk. Jimmy wasn’t offered a cigarette although when they were outside despite that being the basis of their outing. Thomas did, however, light one for himself. He didn’t keep the cigarette for too long though, it was carefully stolen from his lips by his darling thief.

“I came out here for a cigarette, didn’t I?” Jimmy said before taking a drag.

Thomas glanced away, that was abnormally smooth for Jimmy and he found himself forgetting about the reason he invited him out. He ended up watching Jimmy just smoke for a while, mesmerised by his fluid motions. The cigarette rested between his fingers, it seemed so natural as if he’d been smoking for far longer than he had been. It almost elegant Thomas thought, the way he held himself and how the smoke emerged from his lips so gracefully.

“Thomas, I’m sure we’re not out here for you just to watch me smoke” Jimmy commented as he dropped and stubbed the cigarette, “What’s on your mind?”

Thomas cleared his throat, getting his mind back on the matter. He wanted to know about his afternoon daze, it’d left him quite curious.

“This afternoon, you were in a completely different word for a while. I was wondering what was up?” Thomas asked.

Jimmy considered Thomas’ question, he wasn’t about to spoil his note so he thought to tell him a half truth, leave a little to the imagination.

“I was just thinking, you were on my mind and I just got caught up” he answered.

Thomas let out a light laugh, “I was standing right beside you… Yet you were caught up thinking about me?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like a lot could happen…”

Thomas’ eyes widened a little and a breathless laugh escaped this time. He wasn’t certain about whether Jimmy had meant the connotations or not, but they were there and he was a tiny bit scandalised by them.

“Tease…”

It took him a second or two but the coin dropped for Jimmy and he scoffed. He hadn’t meant it that way, it was meant as a softer sort of thing in his mind. Thomas got a little punch to his arm as Jimmy frowned.

“Don’t be a prat, _dearest_ ” he hissed before turning to go back inside.

Thomas smiled and moved to go in with him. There was nothing like a fleeting tease, it kept spirits high and besides Jimmy was cute when he frowned like that. Like a grumpy little puppy, it was adorable.

To keep everything subtle and controlled, when they returned to the hall Thomas went to his normal place on the rocking chair while Jimmy headed for an early night again. They intended to be as careful as possible in their distancing, they couldn’t seem any closer than they were before. And this sort of detachment seemed reasonable for maintaining the façade that nothing had changed between them. They were still best mates and nothing more as far as anyone was concerned. Even then, Jimmy had always intended to have an early night since he had a loving note to compose and draft. Crafting a letter of such affection was a labour of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy said the line, can you believe it? Anyways, I'll try and shell another chapter soon ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes here is the new chapter, it comes with a side order of my sanity. This one put me through my paces... (｡•́︿•̀｡)

The note had been drafted several times; he was getting close to the final. This time Jimmy made sure to keep it to himself, he didn’t want Alfred sticking his nose where it didn’t belong again. Especially since this note was more private than the first, he went into detail about things, things he wouldn’t be fond of anyone even catching a glimpse of. Now that he was getting close to finishing, he had to figure out when he’d give it to him, the moment had to be right. Jimmy didn’t really think of himself as a romantic in any way but he felt that everything had a time, a perfect moment to occur. He thought to keep the note on him because of that notion, if it was always on him then he could always be ready to gift it. Jimmy felt awfully clever on that one, as if no one would come to that first conclusion. But then, his vanity was never in short supply so naturally he felt he was clever about it.

His success with the note had caused Jimmy to be in his unusually chipper mood again. Wearing that perky smile throughout the whole morning. The wonderfully happy Jimmy was becoming popular among the other staff members, them preferring him over his normal snarky self that always had something to say. Jimmy’s popularity had extended to the maids that would normally just glance him across the table. His new sunny demeanour made him less intimidating to approach, more welcoming. A fact that he hadn’t cottoned onto, he didn’t think of himself as anymore appealing to people than before. Jimmy felt that he was appealing to people no matter what. The fact that he was getting a bit more popular with the female staff had to be pointed out to him.

Jimmy and Alfred had been knocking about in the servant’s hall, making the most of the minute or two between their chores. One of the maids had been there as well, she was sat at the table, seemingly having nothing to do. Every now and then her eyes strayed over to them, her eyes resting on her smaller footman. Occasionally he’d glance up and she’d quickly look away, not that he noticed. This pattern would continue until the pair were told to clear out and get on their chores by a passing Mrs. Hughes. Now headed to lay the table for luncheon, as it was their next duty, Alfred decided to bring up the fact that the maid had been making eyes at Jimmy. He’d expected gloating from the other but instead he just received a squint and a ‘what?’

“She was staring at ya!” Alfred reiterated as they went upstairs.

“Okay... So, she was ogling me, what’s new?” Jimmy shrugged.

Alfred’s face dropped a little, he struggled with how the other just brushed such things off sometimes. If it were him, he would have felt lucky to have such a pretty girl checking him out, he wouldn’t act like it was god given right to receive the attention. The subject was dropped there, he didn’t want to hear him go on about how it was normal that girls gave him attention and such.

Throughout all the table setting, Alfred seemed to have a face of thunder. Jimmy kept sneaking a look to see if dropped at all but he saw that it remained consistent. He reckoned it was a case of the green-eyed monster, after all, he was more than aware that girls found Alfred less appealing in comparison to him. It was sort of amusing to him in a twisted sort of way, Alfred was besotted with any girl that would give him a second glance but he couldn’t give a toss about any girl right now. Jimmy let out a quiet huff, humoured by himself. He considered maybe using his charm to his advantage more, see if he could wind up Alfred a bit more than normal. Quietly he planned his mischief, plotting to get under his skin just for the fun of it. It seemed nasty but he justified it to himself somehow.

Jimmy wanted to start his winding up early, jumping at the first chance he could to annoy him. And as luck would have it, his first chance was presented when they were down in the kitchen. Flirting with Ivy always ticked Alfred off, so it was perfect. He laid down his normal tricks, tossing out a few compliments, giving her his finest smiles and a little wink to top it off. It all seemed to work, Ivy giggled and looked away bashfully while Alfred wore his face of thunder again. Jimmy was enjoying himself, watching him react like that was a laugh. His flirtations went on until Ivy took him up on his woos.

“Well, if I’m so lovely then why don’t you take me out tonight?” she said with coy smile.

There was a pause, Jimmy seemed to falter a bit. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to take Ivy out but then he wondered how it would look if he didn’t. A dozen thoughts raced through his mind, we worried about how it would appear, thinking it would raise suspicions if he didn’t.

“I don’t know, Ivy” Jimmy replied, trying his best not to sound too sheepish “You know how Carson is… And I-“

Mrs. Patmore interrupted his weak response thankfully, barking at Ivy to stop chatting and to get back to what she was doing. Jimmy felt like he owed her his life now, saving him from having to muddle through a haphazard excuse as to why he couldn’t take Ivy out. He had to think of a way to slip out of these situations with a little more grace, the idea being that you weren’t supposed to be able to tell that he was shamelessly lying.

Midway through lamenting the woes of having spin a yarn of lies every time he so much as interacted with Ivy, Jimmy noticed the peculiar look Alfred was giving him. He looked as if he were thinking something over, a task Jimmy hardly believed him capable of at the best of times. However, being somewhat scrutinized by Alfred left him feeling uneasy. There wasn’t an immediate issue with it, he wouldn’t be plotting anything, he was very much different from his aunt in that respect. In fact, Alfred lacked malice, he never went out of his way to be nasty. Occasionally though, his takes could be unsavoury, not that they were out of place in this day and age. He was spiteful about things that he doesn’t find normal, which was again average for people these days. Nothing to worry about really, he was harmless when it came down to it.

Alfred got a nudge from him, an attempt to break that stare. The other footman just shook his head as if he’d come out of a daze, an action that prompted Jimmy to ask what he was doing just there. His question was brushed off though as he received a simple ‘nothin’ from him. Jimmy wished that he could take some assurance and believe that it was nothing and that Alfred was being empty headed as normal, but he just couldn’t convince himself. He was just uneasy, it could be over nothing though, he struggled to tell.

Even during luncheon, he found himself still stewing. What if Alfred thought he was… No, he couldn’t, Alfred wasn’t that bright enough. Jimmy kept second guessing himself, every time he reassured himself a contradictory thought sprung up and he worried again. It was silly cycle he was in, thinking that Alfred had half a thought in his brain. By the end of luncheon Jimmy was ready to scream, he was suffering at the hands of Schrodinger’s thought and he wanted it to end. Alas, he had no way to end it, he couldn’t ask Alfred about how he viewed him, that was stupid and suspicious. Desperately he tried to push Alfred out of his head, silence the aching concern that he stirred up without meaning to. How on earth did that ginger moron get in his head like that? Maybe if he just focused on something else the worry of Alfred and his potential thoughts might fade. Jimmy circled back to one of the few things he figured could take his focus away, his note. Perhaps if he mulled over the final draft then he’d forget about all this and feel a little peace.

Words swirled in his head, he had everything mapped, it was just a matter pinning them down to follow his map. He needed to make sure want he said was tender but had some provocative undertones to it, which wasn’t the easiest task but he wanted to impress Thomas as well as flatter him beyond belief. He wished to sound like the sweetest composer when writing about Thomas; he wanted to put the eloquence of the likes for the Brontes to shame with his own. It was unlikely that he’d manage to ever to write something so brilliant but maybe if he wrote something special enough it might just _feel_ that amazing when read. The love he put into his letters felt like enough to out weigh most short comings in his writing ability.

The occupation of his letter in his mind had washed away his worries and got him through the latter part of luncheon. For once Jimmy found enjoy in clearing the table with Alfred, it meant he could leave behind his stress for moment very soon. Once all the dishes and glasses were collected downstairs, he’d have some time before the servant’s tea was served. This meant he’d have time to write out his letter. He knew Alfred would be busy so he could likely get some of it written in the hall, at least as much as he could before it became too sensitive to be writing in a public space. There were a few things in the letter that would make it evident that he was writing about a man as well being a tad suggestive. And Jimmy didn’t feel like putting himself in jeopardy at the moment, also he couldn’t help but feel as if Thomas would be dragged into it even though the evidence would be sparse that he was involved. There would likely be some accusations from a certain butler that he’d tainted him and lead him into his sin. Jimmy didn’t want to be the idiot that spoilt everything for them within days of it properly forming.

With the dishes and glasses now bussed, Jimmy dashed to his room to collect his paper and pen. The paper was tucked into his pocket and he kept a hold of the pen, after if he deemed there to be too many people in the servant’s hall he’d retreat and find another way to spend his time. Fortunately, there was only Anna and another maid in the hall to he was quite safe. Regardless, however, he sat at the further end of the table to avoid too much attention. Once he was settled there, he got his piece of paper back out and started writing.

_‘My love, what beauty can compare to yours?’_

Jimmy smiled to himself, he could feel his inspiration gushing through him. The ink flowed and formed his elegant musings, sweeping strokes to extenuate the emotion in every letter. In the moment he felt that he had some talent, that there was a wordsmith in him, even in they were deep down. Being so caught up in his letter Jimmy had become deaf to the world around him. Luckily, for long enough no one spoke to him but eventually his attention was being called on.

“Jimmy”

He scribbled on, in the zone.

“ _Jimmy_ ”

It was all falling into place.

“ **Jimmy** ”

A hand fell onto his shoulder and he jumped, returning to the real world in an instant. Jimmy whipped around to see who was getting his attention, praying that he hadn’t been ignoring Alfred or even worse Carson. Much to his relief it was only Thomas, he relaxed.

“Sorry I was, uh, busy” Jimmy apologised, carefully moving his letter closer to himself.

This not-totally subtle motion wasn’t missed by Thomas. He wasn’t daft, and he had an inkling that the letter that he was hiding was likely for him. But he wanted to be fair to Jimmy and not get too hasty in his assumptions. Instead he took this opportunity to tease his beloved footman, it would be criminal not to do so.

“Writing a love letter to your bird?” he grinned.

Indignantly Jimmy started folding his letter, embarrassed about being caught writing now. He tucked it away tight, overly conscious of it.

“And if I am, Mr. Barrow?” Jimmy returned.

Thomas smiled, leaning against to the table. Jimmy seemed to avert his eyes, looking at anything but Thomas. He felt like he was heating up inside, knowing that he was probably being silently appraised by him right now.

“Well, she’s a lucky lady, what’s all I wish to say” he said airily.

Anna watched the exchange between the two men, a smile on her lips. It was endearing and she was glad that they could talk like that to one another again, it really showed the strength of their relationship. However, she thought that she was seeing something else in their interaction, but she wasn’t sure. Occasionally when they interacted in seemed as if there was a little more on than what they showed on the surface. But Anna knew not to stick her nose in where it didn’t belong, she couldn’t help but wonder though.

A pat on the shoulder marked their parting, Thomas leaving Jimmy to his own affairs again. He was only left a lone for a short while as soon the other maid at the table asked Jimmy if he was really writing to a girl. The lie seemed to be telling itself so he just told her that he was and let it go on itself. The maid seemed to frown at his confirmation, Jimmy wondered if she was maybe disappointed. It boosted his ego a little to think that she was, he was still a hot commodity after all. He smiled to himself, feeling a little lighter now knowing that his charm was still as potent as ever.

Ever since then his head was held a little higher, Jimmy living off his pride at that moment. He was awfully pleased knowing that his charm hadn’t disappeared at all. Jimmy was back in his excellent and because of such Alfred was confused. Before he’d been moody before and now, he was all sunshine again. It was a little sus to him, but then he has been feeling a bit odd about Jimmy recently. The other seemed different and it didn’t sit well with him; he was _off_. And he wasn’t certain how he felt about this ‘difference’…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alfred where's that thought going sweetie? Also, sorry there wasn't a lot of ship content... I'm working on it, I promise you'll have some more boys soon! (*ﾟｰﾟ)ゞ

**Author's Note:**

> I'll update the tags as they become relevant, so expect that. Also please be patient with me and my updates...


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